


We're Not Friends

by rebeccaofsbfarm



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: FWB, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Relationship Status: It's Complicated, Smut, bottom!Eddie, but with /feelings/, okay real smut this time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:20:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23854489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rebeccaofsbfarm/pseuds/rebeccaofsbfarm
Summary: Eddie knows that he wants Buck, but when he realizes that he may lose his best friend over it, he tries to break it off. What he doesn't realize is how much he needs Buck, and he finds that they have to renegotiate the terms of their arrangement.Inspiration: We're Not Friends by Ingrid Andress
Relationships: Evan “Buck” Buckley & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 201





	We're Not Friends

**Author's Note:**

> Count 'em. That's two stories in three days. I think I'm on a roll. I heard this song and I was _shook_. 
> 
> Because of that, y'all are also getting a playlist. While the story is Eddie's perspective, the songs would probably be in Buck's.
> 
> We're Not Friends - Ingrid Andress (duh)  
> Both - Ingrid Andress  
> He Called Me Baby - Candi Station
> 
> Also the whole album is lit and I had it on repeat while writing this. Hope you like it.

Eddie is _lost_. Lost in the stormy sea of Buck’s eyes, watching as his irises burn with lust. His hand is spread to cup the side of Buck’s face, his thumb pressing against his swollen bottom lip, as Buck calls out his name, his voice breaking in his throat. He’s grabbing at Eddie’s wrist, trying to hold onto him as Eddie pounds into him, harder, then harder still.

“Are you going to come, Buck?” he asks, steadying himself by moving his hand to the center of Buck’s chest. His other hand reaches down to stroke Buck’s pulsing cock and his next words are an order, “Come for me, baby. Come for me, Buck.”

Buck clenches around him and Eddie watches him fall apart, a scream coming from somewhere deep inside of him as he moves against Eddie, thrusting against him, surrounding him, until Eddie’s vision blurs, and he’s following him over, his whole body spasming as he collapses onto Buck’s chest.

He feels Buck chuckle under him as he catches his breath. Buck presses a thankful kiss to the top of his head, and Eddie finally pulls out. He falls onto his back next to Buck, smiling in euphoria, before pulling off the condom, tying it, and tossing it in the direction of the trash can.

“You know, I don’t want you getting a big head or anything, but you’re pretty good at that,” Buck teases, turning to face Eddie beside him. Eddie is still focused on the ceiling, blissed out after an incredible orgasm.

“Back ‘atcha,” Eddie taunts him, “Who knew you took cock so well?”

“Well, I did, actually. You just never asked,” Buck teases. “Thank god for your bisexual crisis.”

“I prefer _awakening_ , thanks,” Eddie says. “Good of you to help me out with that by the way.”

“Hey, that’s what friends are for, isn’t it?” Buck grins, and Eddie faces him, delighted by the joy in Buck’s expression.

“I hope you don’t do this with all of your friends?” he asks, and he feels a weight in his throat, an expectation of Buck’s answer.

Buck shakes his head, “Buck 2.0 is making a special exception for you.”

Eddie doesn’t feel particularly exceptional, but Buck has always had interesting taste in partners. Sexual partners anyway.

“I don’t know Buck,” he hedges, and it pains him to say it, “I’m not sure we should keep doing this.”

Buck sits up, “Hey, hey, hey, what’s up?”

Eddie sits too, and now they’re sitting butt-ass-naked and cross-legged in the middle of Buck’s unmade bed. Buck reaches out to touch his knee, and it feels so familiar.

“You’re my best friend,” Eddie pleads, and he realizes he’s getting emotional. “I’ve lost too many friends. I can’t risk _this_.”

“You won’t lose me,” Buck soothes, and watches Eddie until he finally looks up from watching Buck’s hand on his knee. “But if that’s what you want, that’s okay. Friends first, right?”

Eddie leans forward in thanks, pressing their foreheads together as Buck holds his face in his hands and it is intimate, but it is also fraternal. _Friends first_ , he agrees.

* * *

It is almost a week later, and Buck has done a great job of supporting Eddie’s decision. Eddie is not without regrets, and before he falls asleep in his own bed, he gets himself off to memories of his best friend and the way it felt _inside_ him.

By Friday, he finds that he _misses_ Buck, even though they have seen each other every day. There’s an emptiness in the pit of his stomach that he has to fill, and he tries to stay strong, but he falters. It’s late, but he drops Christopher off at abuela’s for the night, stops at a liquor store, and finds himself on Buck’s doorstep.

He stands in front of the door for a minute, questioning himself, before it opens and Buck is standing there, fresh from the shower in sweatpants and no shirt. He looks surprised to see Eddie, but he also looks pleased, and without a word he lets the door hang open before walking over to his laundry basket and pulling on a shirt.

Eddie closes the door behind him, and tries to explain his presence here so late at night, “I wanted to bring you something, you know, to celebrate our friendship?”

Buck’s eyebrow raises on the side with his birthmark, trying to understand his meaning.

“Eddie, it’s after midnight.”

“It’s wine!” Eddie continues, spoiling the surprise. “I thought we could just watch a movie, drink a few glasses of wine, and absolutely _not_ have sex.”

“So sex is off the table?” Buck asks, and Eddie panics for a moment, waiting for the rejection. Why would Buck still want him around now, after he’d broken things off? What if they couldn’t be friends again? Instead of turning him away, Buck walks to the cupboard and brings down two wineglasses. “What movie do you want to watch?”

Eddie sighs with relief as Buck takes the bottle from him and tries to ignore the way Buck flexes his biceps as he uncorks the wine.

They settle into the couch, a safe distance apart, before turning on the movie. The bottle sits between them, and every twenty minutes or so one of them refills both glasses. Eventually Buck relaxes, stretching out languidly across the couch. He looks like a Greek statue, and the glow of the TV lights his face, glinting against his blue eyes. Eddie realizes that he is no longer watching the screen, instead watching Buck.

Finally, Buck glances up at him and catches him staring.

“That’s a million-yard stare,” he says, and his voice is low and cautious. “What are you thinking?”

Eddie blanches, looking away, “I probably shouldn’t tell you.”

“Hey, friends don’t have secrets,” Buck teases him, then settles, perceptive of Eddie’s hesitation. “Tell me?”

It’s a request, and Eddie knows that Buck won’t be mad if he doesn’t answer, but he finds that he doesn’t want to keep it to himself. Buck is so open and unfiltered, and he makes Eddie want to allow himself to be vulnerable.

“I realize now that I might have cut our arrangement off prematurely,” Eddie answers, thrumming with anticipation. “My _awakening_ wasn’t exactly complete.”

“ _Crisis_ ,” Buck corrects him, but his teasing smile doesn’t go all the way to his eyes. Instead, Eddie sees the storm rolling in again. “Would you like to renegotiate the terms?”

Buck leans toward him, holding eye contact, but waits for Eddie to make the first move. Eddie’s eyes break the connection for just a moment to glance at Buck’s lips, patiently waiting for him, and then Buck’s throat as he swallows hard.

He reaches out and fists Buck’s shirt in his hands, pushing him against the back of the couch then throws a leg over him, mounting him. He dips into a long kiss, worth a week of wanting. Buck tastes like wine, and Eddie pushes his tongue into Buck’s waiting mouth, wanting to taste every drop of him.

Buck breaks away to breathe and Eddie ducks into his neck, pressing his tongue to the hollow of Buck’s throat then his teeth against the side of his neck, just below his ear.

“What do you want?” Buck demands, and Eddie is _weak_ for him. He realizes that he is _whimpering_ with thoughts of what he wants Buck to do to him.

“I want to feel your cock in my throat,” he moans, grinding down into Buck’s erection, “and then I want you to fuck me.”

Buck pulls back for a moment to judge his expression, and hesitantly seeks confirmation. “Are you sure?”

“What do you think?” Eddie asks, before directing him to his own erection as he drags them against each other. Buck’s eyes go dark, and the storm is here. Lightning strikes fill Buck’s eyes as Eddie demands, “Fuck me, Evan.”

Buck’s huge hands stretch to hold his ass, his nails kneading into the muscle as he kisses him again, and Eddie is drowning. Buck readjusts his grip, and then he’s lifting Eddie off the couch and carrying him toward the stairs.

“ _Shit!_ The stairs,” he says, and stalls for a minute before lowering Eddie onto the kitchen table, grabbing at his thighs while sandwiched between them, and groaning into his neck. “Can you walk?”

“For now,” Eddie teases him, and he drops his legs, leaning back to take a good look at Evan Buckley, standing there aroused and _wanting_ him. “But I think I might have a better idea.”

He presses a hand against Buck’s chest and forces him to take a few steps back, then stands and reaches out to hold his face before he kisses him. His thumb strokes the day-old stubble on Buck’s cheek, and he pushes his tongue into Buck’s mouth to tease him, before withdrawing. He gives Buck a cheeky smile, then drops to his knees in front of him. He tugs on Buck’s sweatpants and they drop to the floor, Buck’s cock falling out, hard and _pulsing_ for him.

He reaches out to stroke him, and Buck shivers, encouraging him as he pulls his own shirt over his head. Eddie presses his tongue against Buck’s slit, and then sucks in just the head. His tongue reaches out to press against the bottom of Buck’s cock and his hips thrust forward, pushing him on. Eddie’s hands hold onto Buck’s thick thighs, his nails digging in as he takes him into his throat.

Buck keens, and Eddie looks up to find him, open-mouthed and _flooded_ with the sensation of Eddie’s mouth around his cock. Eddie licks up the length before going down again, pushing Buck’s cock to the back of his throat, his throat squeezing around the head as Buck grabs his hair, pushing him down and making him choke. He is _weak_ at the sensation.

When Buck releases him, Eddie lets out a guttural moan, and his pants are too tight for how _hard_ he is for Buck. He is tired of waiting. He needs to feel Buck _inside_ of him.

He looks up, and Buck sees it in his eyes, the wetness and the desperation, and he presses his thumb against Eddie’s swollen lip. Eddie takes the digit into his mouth and sucks.

“Mmm baby,” Buck soothes and he lifts Eddie’s chin so their eyes meet. “You want me to fuck you?”

“Yes,” Eddie groans through his teeth, and he can’t believe how _needy_ he is. Buck hesitates, and he knows what Buck needs. He wants Eddie to beg, so he does, because he is desperate to be with him. “Please Buck. I want you to fuck me. I want your cock _inside_ of me.”

Buck growls and pulls Eddie up off the floor, pushing him ahead of him up the stairs. When they get upstairs, Buck watches Eddie undress, then pushes him onto the bed and walks over to his nightstand. He tosses a condom next to Eddie on the bed, and flips the latch on the lubricant, pouring it into his hand, then coating his fingers.

Eddie supports himself on his elbows as Buck kneels before him, spreading his legs wide and lifting his ass up for better access before shifting to put Eddie’s leg over his shoulder.

“I’ve never been inside you before,” Buck reminds him, wistful, before pressing his thumb pad to Eddie’s entrance. Eddie whines, and Buck hasn’t even pressed into him yet. “You’re sure you want this?”

“Buck, _please_ ,” he moans, and Buck coaxes just the first joint of his thumb inside. Eddie tightens around the intrusion but forces himself to relax. “ _More_ Buck, please!”

Buck removes his thumb and replaces it with his tongue, pressing flatly against the opening as Eddie bucks against him. He takes his mouth away and slowly introduces a finger, and then another, and when he inserts the third, Eddie curses.

“Are you ready?” Buck asks him, and Eddie answers him by dragging him into a kiss, and he is so full of _yearning_ as he feels Buck’s cock pressing against his ass. He may not be ready, but in this moment he has never wanted anything more than to feel Buck inside him. Buck creates just enough space to sheathe himself with the condom and lube up, then sinks down to press against Eddie.

Buck steadies himself with one hand on the bed beside Eddie, the other guiding the head of his cock into his entrance, waiting for just enough give to continue. Eddie groans, his voice needy.

“Do you want me to move?” Buck asks, and he gently strokes Eddie’s calf on his shoulder, turning his face to kiss Eddie’s ankle as he adjusts to the feeling. It’s painfully intimate while being wholly erotic and Eddie wants so much to _please_ him.

He pulls from the stack of pillows behind him to support his back and nods, then watches as Buck sinks into him. He cries out, and at first, he thinks it’s the pain of being stretched, but then he moans and knows that there’s more to it. Buck bottoms out into him and holds there, waiting to continue.

Eddie reaches up to pull Buck forward, holding him so their foreheads are pressed together, sticky with sweat, and their eyes are bearing into one another. Buck grins wildly, and Eddie growls out, “Fuck me Buckley.”

“God damn,” Buck mutters as he withdraws to snap his hips forward, and Eddie moans sharply. “Yeah, baby, you like that?”

“Fuck, _yes_ Buck,” Eddie grunts and he is falling apart, pulsing as Buck reaches the bundles of nerves inside him that had been previously undiscovered. The sounds coming out of him are no longer human, and his lungs strain with the _volume_ of his _need_.

Buck smiles, his mouth wide with amusement that he could _do_ this to Eddie, and Eddie is feeling so much at once that he can’t even respond.

Buck smacks the side of his ass, “You love my cock inside of you, don’t you Eddie?”

“Fuck, _yes_ ” Eddie screams, and Buck pounds into him, hard and fast.

“ _Yes_ , baby!” Buck shouts, and he leans forward to press his hand against the side of Eddie’s face and presses his thumb against Eddie’s larynx, putting all his weight into the thrust. “Tell me baby, tell me you love it!”

“I love your cock,” Eddie screams, his throat compressed by Buck’s hold, and he’s almost weeping as Buck buries himself inside, holding there, and filling him up with his whole length. “Jesus, Buck, I love the way you feel inside me.”

“Do you want me to come inside you?” Buck asks, and Eddie nods, bearing down at the thought of feeling Buck fill him. “Yeah? You want me to come inside you? You want me to come for you?”

“Yes Buck, _please_ ,” he wails, and Buck picks up his pace as Eddie pulls at the sheets with his hands, desperate to find some grounding. “I want you to fill me up.”

“Shit, I think I will,” Buck acquiesces, before reaching down to stroke Eddie’s cock, wet with pre-cum and pulsing with need. “But first I’m going to make you come for me.”

Buck lifts his ass and puts both legs on his shoulders, then pistons into Eddie while stroking his cock, and Eddie’s toes curl as pleasure pools in his belly. He begins to shout as he arcs into Buck’s hand, his body splitting in half and his cum falling back onto his chest. He is shaking, and Buck looks so _pleased_ with himself that it is equal parts aggravating and attractive.

Buck reaches down to drag his fingers through the stripes across his chest and brings his fingertips to his lips, inserting them into his mouth. Eddie is on fire, watching Buck taste him as he comes, bottoming out and filling him with heat.

Buck collapses, his body vibrating with aftershocks on top of Eddie. He takes a moment to catch his breath, chuckling with adrenaline, and Eddie realizes that he is completely speechless. With his breath caught, Buck surprises him by crawling down his body until he is on his knees on the floor next to the bed. As Eddie watches, he licks up the length of his cock, keeping a steady hand on his chest as Eddie softens, blitzed out by the way Buck cleans him up with his tongue, not just tasting his cum, but savoring it.

Eventually, Buck stands, his body spent, his arms limp with exertion, but he walks across the room with the confidence of a man that knows exactly what he looks like and exactly what he has just done. He bends down, and Eddie realizes that he is gratuitously checking out Buck’s ass, an ass he had filled more times than he could have imagined, before Buck drags on his sweats and shirt and drops next to him into the bed, “You should probably stay over. It’s real late.”

“Sure,” Eddie says, and as he glances at his pile of street clothes on the floor, Buck gestures to the chest of drawers. Eddie pads over to pull open his drawers, realizing that he already knows where Buck keeps his loungewear after all the nights he’d spent here. He pulls out a pair of shorts and a shirt and ducks into the bathroom to clean himself up. It is all so familiar, so _comfortable_ , and he realizes too late that tonight he may have taken things too far.

It doesn’t stop him from pulling Buck’s shirt over his head, and holding the collar up to his face, breathing in deep and internalizing the smell of Buck’s detergent and the cologne that still hangs on after numerous washes.

When he comes out, Buck has pulled back the covers and claimed his usual side of the bed. He’s adjusted the number of pillows on Eddie’s side to make him comfortable, and Eddie’s stomach drops with how _coupley_ this all feels when they had already agreed from the beginning that those feelings were off limits.

Neither of them says anything, but Eddie buries himself in the covers and tries to leave a sizable gap between them. Buck reaches out to touch his shoulder, but he shirks him off.

“I’m sleeping over Buck, but I’m not _sleeping over_ ,” he explains, wanting to reinforce the rules they had from the beginning and the foundation of their current relationship. He feels Buck shrink away from him, and he knows he’s done something wrong. Buck turns to face away from him. “Buck?”

“Got it, Eddie,” Buck grumbles, and Eddie tells himself that it’s because he’s tired and muffled by the pillow. He wants to reach out to make sure, but he doesn’t and instead turns away so he can try to sleep.

* * *

Buck is acting strangely, and Eddie _knows_ it has something to do with the other night. Eddie teases him, like he always has, but Buck doesn’t respond in kind. If he does react, it’s usually with a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes, and Eddie _hates_ it. After a few days, he tries to get Buck to walk with him to his car, but he bolts while Eddie is showering. It’s Thursday, and it’s been almost a week, and not speaking to Buck is _killing_ him.

He opens their text conversation to see that Buck hasn’t responded to his prompts in days. Even the ones about Christopher are left on read, which isn’t promising because Buck _loves_ Christopher. He realizes that Buck has _never_ gone this long without texting him, not since they day they met.

In a move of desperation, he gets a sitter for Christopher and asks the team to go for drinks. Hen and Chimney try to come up with excuses, but after some pleading, they agree. The awkwardness between him and Buck must be obvious to everyone.

They meet at the bar, and Eddie is the first there. When Buck arrives, he sits across the table in the seat furthest from him. He looks distracted, his eyes watching the game over the bar to avoid even looking at Eddie. He is grateful when Hen appears, though he notices her expression as she pulls a chair out between them. Immediately she calls over a waitress to get her a drink.

“Maddie had a long day, so she can’t make it,” Chimney says as he takes the other seat. He and Hen share a look across the table, which Buck doesn’t seem to notice, continuing to watch the game with his eyes glazed over. “What are we drinking?”

Eddie sticks to ginger ale, but he watches as Buck fills the silence with glass after glass. He speaks, but only to Hen and Chim. Occasionally he will react to something Eddie says and glances up, but then quickly looks away.

Finally, their friends look exhausted from trying to carry the conversation, and Chim begins to pat his front and back pockets dramatically, “Oh man, I wonder…”

He ‘answers’ his phone, “Maddie? Oh, a spider? Huge, you say? I’ll be there soon!”

“Oof, sorry guys, duty calls,” he says with a shrug. Hen makes a face at him, but Chim is already leaving.

She glances at the ceiling and sighs, trying to find a way to excuse herself, before just saying, “Yeah, sure, whatever he said.”

She puts her jacket on, but before she makes it more than a few steps, she comes back and points at each of them in turn, “I don’t know what _this_ shit is, but you better figure it out.”

For a moment, Eddie is stunned, but she doesn’t give him time to respond before leaving, for real this time.

“We should go,” Buck says quietly, once again refusing to look at him. Eddie wonders what he’s avoiding, but he’s also afraid to ask.

Eddie finishes his ginger ale, “You’re not good to drive. Let me take you home.”

Buck doesn’t disagree with him, but answers, “I can call an Uber, it’s fine.”

“But I _want_ to drive you home,” Eddie says, and he hears the desperation in his own voice when he says it. “Besides, it’s late, you might be waiting for a while.”

He knows Buck has given in when he finishes his own beer, but he can still feel the invisible wall between them. Buck stays two steps behind as they walk to his truck and climbs in silently.

Eddie isn’t surprised when Buck looks out the window, focused on the passing buildings instead of him. He turns up the music on the radio, just enough to fill the space between them. Buck doesn’t even sing along, which confirms Eddie’s suspicions that something is definitely wrong.

He reaches across the void to touch Buck’s knee, and he jumps, his eyes leaving the window to focus on Eddie’s hand, expecting it to return to the steering wheel. But Eddie is itching for contact and leaves it there, his thumb stroking absent-mindedly. After a few minutes, Buck realizes that he isn’t going to move and covers the hand with his own. Eddie glances over to see that Buck is looking straight forward now, and his face doesn’t look quite so wretched as it did at the bar.

They get to Buck’s place and he’s forced to release him. Buck seems to consider something, and then he _finally_ turns to face Eddie and really _sees_ him. His hand reaches out to caress Eddie’s face, and his eyes are clear in the light from the streetlamps. He begins to lean, and Eddie _knows_ , knows that he is about to be kissed. This kiss will be different. This kiss will _change_ things.

His hand leaps to Buck’s chest, holding him back gently, “Buck, I can’t.”

Buck stops. He laughs, but Eddie can hear the pain in his chest, and it’s wrong, so wrong that it hurts him. He doesn’t know what to say, and deep down he knows that nothing he says can fix what just happened, so he remains silent.

Buck looks so _disappointed_ in him, and shakes his head before hopping down from the cab, “Night, Eddie.”

Buck leaves him idling on the street, and it feels so _final_ that Eddie is afraid his heart might shatter.

* * *

He shows up to work and sees Buck’s Jeep, which is odd, because Buck is never early for anything. He’s surprised when Chim pulls up.

“Didn’t you have the early shift?” he asks, and Chim takes off his sunglasses so he can see the frustrated look on his face.

“I did,” he says, and then starts walking toward the door. “But last night I got a text from Buck asking me to switch. Don’t know why he needed me to cover on such late notice…”

Chim holds the door for him, but as he passes through, gives him a glare to show that he is losing patience with him. Eddie doesn’t think it has anything to do with his pace.

Once he’s dressed, he goes looking for Buck, trying to catch him before he leaves. Thankfully, he catches him in the truck bay taking inventory on the ladder truck. Buck sees him approaching and slams the door to the compartment he had just finished, and the metallic clang bounces off the walls. Eddie feels it in his chest.

“Please talk to me,” he says, and he tries to reach out, but Buck shrugs from his grasp. “Buck, we’re supposed to be friends. Tell me what’s going on.”

Buck laughs again, and it’s even more strained than it was the night before. He shakes his head and tries to get past Eddie, but Eddie blocks him. With escape no longer an option, Buck seems to decide that he will make a stand instead.

“ _Baby!_ ” Buck shouts, and Eddie blanches, physically trying to compact himself to be invisible. Buck must notice, because he gets louder. “ _Come_ for me, baby! _Come_ for me, Buck! I _want_ you _inside_ me!”

Buck is _raving_ now, and he knows they have the attention of everyone in the station, “That’s what you said to me. Those are _your_ words, Eddie! You show up at my door in the middle of the night, take me to bed, and then what? Nothing, Eddie. That’s what I got from you.”

Eddie is staring open-mouthed as Buck falls apart, tears pressing at his eyes as he suddenly quiets, his voice breaking, “We’re not friends, Eddie.”

Eddie is so brokenhearted hearing the _one_ thing he was trying to avoid that he can’t respond. He stands there, frozen in place. Buck’s patience runs out, and Eddie can only watch as he retreats, wishing he would just turn around.

Bobby appears beside him with a hand on his shoulder, “Are you okay to work, or do you need to go?”

He looks up at him and sees no judgment, only concern. He doesn’t reprimand Eddie for causing a scene, just wants to know if he is alright. He nods, but his eyes glance to where Buck had disappeared.

“Please just check on him,” he says, and Bobby nods before taking off in the same direction. Eddie doesn’t know how he’s going to get through this shift intact.

* * *

It’s late again when Eddie shows up at Buck’s doorstep and he prays that Buck will let him in, knowing that if the roles were reversed, he probably wouldn’t. He has to knock more than once, and he knocks _hard_ , until Buck opens the door, exasperated.

“What?” he says, and his tone is clipped, until he sees that Eddie’s arms are full. He’s got two large paper bags, and while Buck is still confused, he holds open the door. “What’s all this?

Eddie takes the bags to the kitchen island and begins to take out steaming Styrofoam containers, “So this is takeout from your favorite Italian place. I made sure to get you marinara for the garlic bread, before you ask.”

Buck’s face is still twisted in confusion, his mouth hanging open as he watches Eddie’s progress.

“I’ve got wine. And candles,” he says, before taking them out of the bags. “And I made a playlist, if you wouldn’t mind hooking it up to your Bluetooth.”

He takes his phone out of his pocket and unlocks it, pulling up the Spotify app and handing it to Buck. Buck reaches out cautiously to take it.

“I’m sorry,” he says, as he goes through the motions of connecting the signal. “What is happening right now? Diaz, explain yourself.”

As Buck presses play, Eddie lights the candles and flips the switch on the kitchen light. He walks toward Buck in the candlelight and holds out his hands. Buck is slow to follow, but eventually reaches to meet him.

“Evan Buckley,” Eddie says, examining their joined hands before meeting Buck’s eyes. “You are my best friend. But you are _so_ much more. I’m sorry that I hurt you. I was confused, and afraid to lose you, to lose _us_ , so I pushed you away when I should have been pulling you close.”

He steps back and gestures to the set-up on the island, “So I’m asking you on a date; not that you have much choice since it’s already here. Technically, I guess you can push me out the door and have the food and wine to yourself, but personally I think I’ve made an okay case for myself.”

Buck remains standing with his arms crossed, but a smile is creeping across his face and this time, _finally_ , it reaches his eyes. Eddie is glad they’re trained for EMS because his heart is beating so hard that it threatens to burst through his chest. _We’ll be okay_ , he assures himself.

He reaches out and takes Buck by the elbow, pulling him forward and pressing their lips together. Buck gives into him, relaxing as he drops his arms and snakes them around Eddie’s back to pull him close. Eddie never wants him to let go, but eventually he pulls away.

He is thrilled when Buck takes his hand and pulls him toward the counter, grabbing forks and opening containers, “Does this mean you accept?”

“Under one condition,” Buck smiles, and Eddie can’t help himself, he’s behind Buck and wrapping his arms around his waist, pressing him into the counter. He kisses Buck’s neck, confirming the answer before Buck even has a chance to ask.

“No Buck,” he says, and he is pressing forward, his groin flush against Buck’s ass so he can _feel_ him. “Under the circumstances, I don’t think it’s necessary to wait. After all, I think there’s more I can do to earn your forgiveness.”

Buck turns in his arms, his hands holding Eddie’s face, and Eddie can see the clarity in his eyes as he absolves him.

“You already have.”

Then Buck’s lips are on his, and he is _lost_ , but he is reassured that Buck will find him, again and again.

**Author's Note:**

> Sex italics are the new pink don't @ me.


End file.
